If you don't have anything nice to say...

Well...we all know the rest, right?  Right?!?!?  Believe it or not, no...not everyone does.  At least that's been my experience lately.

I've at times been overwhelmed by some of the things people say to me.  More than a few people have actually said that I am an inspiration to them.  I have motivated them.  They want my help.  They want to know my 'secrets.'  They say I encourage them by the way I keep at it...even at times when I don't feel like it.  Even days when I'd much rather sleep in than get up early and workout in the living room or (if I'm lucky enough that my husband was off the night before) head to the gym before 6 a.m.  That if I can do it with my schedule (I work full time and then some, have a 20 month old toddler, and a husband that works a shift opposite mine) then they should be able to do something as well.  I love to hear all of these comments.  I'm surprised.  Still.  But to know that I have actually inspired people to do good for themselves, something I have never done before...well, that just feels good.  It really does.   And then....

And then...

And then there's my family.  Doing the best they can to negate all of the positive comments I've heard from so many others with their own negativity.  Funny how just a few words from just a few family members, negative words at that, can stick with a person more than all the good from everyone else.  Sad, really.  What do I hear?

"You're too skinny."  "You need to quit."  "When are you going to stop?"  "You cannot lose any more weight."  And so on.  I quit listening, if I am to be honest.  I heard enough with the first few comments and am doing my best to shut out all the rest.  These few comments, though, are enough to make me really want to avoid being around them...not hard to do, actually...but with some events coming up over the next several months, I'm sure that's bound to piss off people.

Let's think about this though:

• "You're too skinny."  Since when is a few pounds over 130 on someone who stands 5'5 too skinny?   
• "When are you going to stop?"  Stop what?  Exercising?  Eating healthy?  Um...this was not about dropping a few pounds and then reverting to an unhealthy lifestyle.
• "You need to quit."  See comments above.  

Really I don't get this at all.  I'm not underweight.  For the first time in years, I'm not overweight.  for the first time in a long time, I'm not feeling shitty because of my crappy diet.  I'm not hating myself because my clothes look like crap on me (although I am not hugely excited about the fact that I've had to replace my entire wardrobe a few times over the last year).  I've gained confidence in myself by getting healthier, getting in much better shape.  I look at my family history of health problems and see how much of it is tied to an unhealthy lifestyle...why would I want to stop or quit...and go back to looking at a future full of health problems tied to weight and unhealthy habits?  What am I missing here?  And now that I think of it...not one person in my extended family has said anything positive...at all...about my transformation.  Nothing.  Not one thing.  That kind of makes me sad.  I did this for me, I did this to set a positive example for my daughter.  And apparently my family would rather me be fat miserable unhealthy unhappy.  Sad.

Yay! Motivation! There you are!

That afternoon of trying on bathing suits was apparently the final kick in the pants I needed.  I mean, it wasn't gross, way out of control kinda thing...but I knew I could do better.  I quit making excuses...that was a huge problem of mine - I had an excuse for everything.

Exercise

I started back in the gym.  I started going on my lunch breaks...doing what I could do in the short time frame I had to work with.  I didn't work in my comfort zone, but pushed past it.  I didn't lift weights I was comfortable with, but pushed for more.  Sometimes a lot more.  We got a Y membership last winter (primarily to help Shawn with the swimming portion of his triathlon training) and I do spin classes there on a regular basis.  This fall session, I have added a 'boot camp' class to the spin class.  I may add something else or change it up next session.  I am wanting to give running one final shot.  I have downloaded an app onto my phone and my kindle (Workout Trainer by skimble.com).  I follow lots of people on Instagram that are primarily fitness-related.  I chase a 15 month old baby around on a regular basis.

Diet

Still trying to find my way with a diet.  I am not a fan of cooking, and when I do cook, it is not overly impressive.  I am really wanting to try this clean eating thing, but can't get the husband on board with it.  And with a toddler, I need to work with her diet as well...and her pickiness (which rivals mine).  Until I truly find the way with my eating habits, I am using My Fitness Pal to track everything I eat, set goals for myself, etc.  I have a few friends on there and we try to motivate each other.  I also use it frequently to track my exercise - cardio and strength training.  I have also taken a few pages from my gestational diabetes diet for my snacking.  Even though I use my lunch break to work out, I do not skip eating.  I will quite often grab a chicken breast and veggies, a salad loaded with veggies, a fruit cup, etc.  Sometimes I will just grab a protein shake after my workout.

The result?

This was from this past Tuesday:

As far as weight loss is concerned, when I weighed myself yesterday (I typically weigh myself after my Friday lunch time workout), I was at 145.8 lbs.  I have gone from a size 12 to a size 6 (almost always I buy my clothes at NY & Co...I am aware of their generous sizing, but hey...at least if I continue shopping at the same place, I get consistency with my sizing).  Extra large to a medium.  The bra size has definitely changed, too.  My strength has definitely improved, I feel better about myself overall.  My legs have slimmed, I am getting some definition in my biceps, the husband says the back fat is gone.

A lot of people have noticed and have commented.  Most of it has been nice and I hope that I have maybe motivated others.  Maybe these types of posts on my blog will motivate even more people.  On the flip side...I also get somewhat negative comments - people saying I am too skinny (um...145 lbs. - how is that too skinny?  methinks you are just jealous), asking if I have been sick, etc.  Even asking when I'm going to stop.  This is not something I hope to stop.  I haven't totally defined what my overall goal is.  I still have a long way to go as far as my fitness level is concerned (trust me, this boot camp class I am taking has definitely proved that).  I want to banish the fat altogether.  It is not healthy!

I only wish it was the easy with shoe size.

The history of my weight loss struggle...

This has been a struggle for me most of my adult life  - chalk it up to laziness, enjoying the brewskis too much, enjoying good food even more, lack of motivation, lack of time, money, etc.  I could probably publish a novel with all of the excuses I've used over time as to why I couldn't work out and the justification to eat/drink whatever I felt like.  I would never have been labeled obese...but most definitely overweight.

I first joined a gym back in 2000.  At the time, the company I was working for had moved into a new building and a new gym was put in there.  It took a while to find my groove...but midway through 2001 I lost weight...actually over a period of three months in the second half of that year, I lost about 50 lbs. as well as finally got smart and left my ex-boyfriend (so I guess all told, you could say I lost over 200 lbs. that year).

Since 2000, I have always had a gym membership somewhere (the majority of that time was Lifestyles for Ladies Only, but I eventually gave that up as many of you Toledo-area ladies know the drama with that place) and for the most part, I really didn't pile the pounds back on.  Nope.  It was more of a steady, very slow weight kind that kinda crept on me and then all of a sudden, it was like "what the hell happened to me????"  I have an excuse for that, I really do!  I blame some of that on my husband.    You all know how it is...that whole 'comfort' thing.  Where you meet someone (we met in 2006) and you're still looking pretty darn good, but over the course of that relationship, you grow comfortable with one another, and then gradually, the pounds start coming back.  Now mind you, I did still hit the gym on occasion...but often I chose to spend time with my new love and socializing (in our early days, we had quite the full social calendar).

We got married in August of 2008...you would have thought squeezing into a wedding dress would have been great motivation to hit the gym, right?  Um.  No.  Apparently wasn't enough for me.  I mean, I thought it was...and honestly I was in the gym religiously...almost daily.  But it didn't happen.  I have pictures of the back fat being proudly displayed in my halter-style wedding dress.

Over the next couple of years, my weight seemed to have gone down a little...actually, I think in 2010, I made some progress.  Then I started a new job (my current job) September of that year.  That hurt the waistline my weight crept up to around 178 lbs. (I think back in 2000, before joining a gym, I was actually close to 190)....despite the fact we had a nice new gym, free even, right there in the building.  I was slowly expanding again.  We started a Weight Watchers at Work program, and I joined.  And in the first couple of weeks following that diet, it seemed I was starving all the time, but darnit - I lost a few pounds!  And then...a month and a half, not even that much time actually, after starting that new job, I found out I was pregnant.  So much for weight loss!

I vowed with my pregnancy that I would continue working out!  And I tried!  But darnit...I got to a point where every time I tried the cardio machines, I had to jump off every five minutes to pee!  And then I just got so busy with work.  And a pregnant woman's gotta eat, right?  I have huge regret that I did not continue working out.  I developed gestational diabetes (I actually question that diagnosis, but whatev) and towards the end of my pregnancy, walking was a chore.  It was bad.  I topped out somewhere around 210 or above (I quit looking, didn't want to know).

Let me tell you - being a new mom gave me a whole new set of excuses as to why I couldn't work out, or not workout as frequently!  My diet got horrible (pretty much a grab what I could when I could kinda thing)!  It was just bad...but those maternity clothes kinda got comfy!  I returned to work two months after having Stella and was probably around 186 lbs.  Between August of last year and May of this year, I dropped another 10.  My husband decided early on in the year that he was going to start training for triathlons...and that was a little motivation for me (wouldn't look good for the wife of a triathlete to be a dumpy fatass, would it?).

And then...in May, I had an unexpected day off work - I had a regularly scheduled doctor appointment that morning and had planned to go into work after.  But daycare called, Stella wasn't feeling good, picked her up, got her to do the docs (double ear infection followed up later that day by the start of hand foot and mouth disease).  While she was napping that afternoon, I headed out to try on bathing suits since I had planned to start her in swim classes.  And for some reason, that was the final motivation I needed.