If you don't have anything nice to say...

Well...we all know the rest, right?  Right?!?!?  Believe it or not, no...not everyone does.  At least that's been my experience lately.

I've at times been overwhelmed by some of the things people say to me.  More than a few people have actually said that I am an inspiration to them.  I have motivated them.  They want my help.  They want to know my 'secrets.'  They say I encourage them by the way I keep at it...even at times when I don't feel like it.  Even days when I'd much rather sleep in than get up early and workout in the living room or (if I'm lucky enough that my husband was off the night before) head to the gym before 6 a.m.  That if I can do it with my schedule (I work full time and then some, have a 20 month old toddler, and a husband that works a shift opposite mine) then they should be able to do something as well.  I love to hear all of these comments.  I'm surprised.  Still.  But to know that I have actually inspired people to do good for themselves, something I have never done before...well, that just feels good.  It really does.   And then....

And then...

And then there's my family.  Doing the best they can to negate all of the positive comments I've heard from so many others with their own negativity.  Funny how just a few words from just a few family members, negative words at that, can stick with a person more than all the good from everyone else.  Sad, really.  What do I hear?

"You're too skinny."  "You need to quit."  "When are you going to stop?"  "You cannot lose any more weight."  And so on.  I quit listening, if I am to be honest.  I heard enough with the first few comments and am doing my best to shut out all the rest.  These few comments, though, are enough to make me really want to avoid being around them...not hard to do, actually...but with some events coming up over the next several months, I'm sure that's bound to piss off people.

Let's think about this though:

• "You're too skinny."  Since when is a few pounds over 130 on someone who stands 5'5 too skinny?   
• "When are you going to stop?"  Stop what?  Exercising?  Eating healthy?  Um...this was not about dropping a few pounds and then reverting to an unhealthy lifestyle.
• "You need to quit."  See comments above.  

Really I don't get this at all.  I'm not underweight.  For the first time in years, I'm not overweight.  for the first time in a long time, I'm not feeling shitty because of my crappy diet.  I'm not hating myself because my clothes look like crap on me (although I am not hugely excited about the fact that I've had to replace my entire wardrobe a few times over the last year).  I've gained confidence in myself by getting healthier, getting in much better shape.  I look at my family history of health problems and see how much of it is tied to an unhealthy lifestyle...why would I want to stop or quit...and go back to looking at a future full of health problems tied to weight and unhealthy habits?  What am I missing here?  And now that I think of it...not one person in my extended family has said anything positive...at all...about my transformation.  Nothing.  Not one thing.  That kind of makes me sad.  I did this for me, I did this to set a positive example for my daughter.  And apparently my family would rather me be fat miserable unhealthy unhappy.  Sad.

Ahh...back to the Y tonight...

The new session started last week and I finally made it tonight.  Boot Camp followed by Spin.  And both were great!  While in spin class, just sitting there pedaling away and dripping with sweat, I had the following realization:

We joined the Y approximately one year ago.  We joined primarily so my husband could swim (remember, he's training for tri/ironman races).  Now...I only go to the Y for my classes as I primarily use the gym at work for most of my exercising (and occasionally utilize the living room at home).  In the time we have been members of the Y...I have dropped approximately 40 lbs. (176 to 136).  I have gone from a size 12 (and at least one pair of size 14 jeans) to a 4.  And recently, the 4s have seemed a bit too big.  I've gone from larges and extra larges in tops to mediums.  And some of those are now a little loose fitting.  My bra size (yes, I'm going there...I'm going to share my bra size) has gone from a 38DD to a 32DDD.  But dammit...my shoe size hasn't changed at all!

The Y definitely doesn't get all the credit, not even a good portion of it.  It goes to me.  I'm the one doing it.  I'm the one that quit making excuses.  I'm the one getting it done.  It is no longer a matter of forcing myself to exercise - I stopped doing that quite some time ago - it is now a habit.  And by habit, I mean I am not happy if I can't get at least a small workout in.  Like cranky unhappy.      A kind of crankiness that could rival Stella's legendary crankiness when she's tired.

And here's the thing.  If I can do it...why can't so may others do it.  I work full time (and then some), I have a toddler.  I have a husband (a husband who works a complete opposite shift and has his own fitness goals).  But I do it.  I hear all kinds of excuses from people of why they can't (and many of those excuses I used at one time or other myself).  I hear that from people and yet they tell me what an inspiration I have become.  What exactly am I inspiring because they certainly aren't joining me in the gym...but rather contentedly complain about what they dislike about their body, health, etc.  I understand, I do...been there done that...but geez...if you say I inspire you...prove it!