I'm Baaaaccccckkkkk!

How does anyone find time to maintain a blog?  Seriously???  I don't even want to bother looking to see when the last post was, or what it was even about...but I will...

So it was just over a month ago...and about the some of the comments that people make about how I've changed myself.  Whatev.

So the latest and greatest with me?  um...hmm...lemme think...

I just don't have time for anything new!  Same job, same husband, same child (who just turned 2, by the way...yay Stella!), same house, etc.  One new thing to report though...I somehow got talked into a half marathon.  Yep...you read that right, I swear I was peer-pressured into it!

This is what I'm doing (just click that little linky over there).  I may have finally gone off the deep end!

If I had gained this much weight in the same amount of time...

Would people still feel free to offer their opinions, advice, etc.?  Of course not!  (Unless I was pregnant, in which case everyone except those that had recently 'been there done that' would comment.)

Anyway, I posted this on my Facebook page yesterday.  Or maybe it was Thursday.  But here it is:

I came across it on Instagram, and I thought it summed up my feelings pretty well (recall my "If you don't have anything nice to say blog") so I decided to post it on my facebook.  Most of the comments were positive.  However, one person thought it was time to tell me her thoughts on my change.  Now mind you, I haven't seen her since before I was even pregnant with Stella, she's only seen random pictures of me on facebook.  But the conclusion I reached from her comments is that I look sickly, I must have an eating disorder, I am being unhealthy, etc.  And, quite honestly, it pissed me off.  More so than some of the comments I had to endure from my family a few months ago.

For the record, I am not starving myself.  I am not 'over exercising' (most days I get my workout in over my lunch break...meaning less than an hour), I have learned to maximize what little time I do have in the gym.  For the most part, I avoid fast food and when I do have it, I am smart about my choices.  I now cook most of my meals (not frozen meals, etc.).  I rarely drink these days (maybe a quarterly 'binge' here and there).  I don't smoke anymore.  I do still enjoy chocolate on a regular basis.  I haven't been able to give up my diet dew.  I really don't even bother counting calories anymore.  I do enjoy the occasional cheat meal (the burger I had on my birthday was beyond fab....including the soft pretzel bun).  I am really starting to enjoy running.  I love yoga.  I love to sweat.  I love to be active.  Exercise IS my stress relief.

Does any of the above point to a problem?

And now, a pet peeve of mine:  I always post a 'check-in' from the gym.  It is habit.  If nothing else, keeps me accountable...and quite honestly, I have had several people tell me that I inspire them.  Back to the point, I see several people making comments lately, negative comments, about gym check-ins.  Here's the deal:  This is what I do, this is what I enjoy.  I am so overly annoyed by the many passive aggressive status updates, but I don't say anything.  The regular bar check-ins/pictures make me feel like some people haven't yet reached adulthood.  And I seem to be one of the few not blowing up everyone's feed with their anti-gun control sentiments.  I mean seriously, I could be constantly posting all the ongoing drama in my family (not my nuclear family but the extended)...I have so much drama and stress going on there, but this isn't public knowledge and public facebook material.  My job is extremely busy...but I don't need to be doing constant updates about work (just checking in from the gym there on a regular basis).  People just need to be thankful I've cut back on the overs-harenting!

And with that...my rant is over.

40 is closing in too fast...

I want to be okay with it...I really do.  I've been dreading it for so long, but I am trying trying to take a more positive outlook on it.  I figured I had such a hard time with 30, that 40 will be a bitch...but does it really need to be?

And...I started this post nearly a month ago...I am now two days out!  I should be on a cruise right now...but alas, I have a family that primarily sucks, it got canceled, so now spending it home with the only family that truly matters to me anymore:  my husband and my child.  And, unfortunately, tomorrow will be spent with a recovering little one as she is scheduled for round two of tubes in the a.m.

When I originally started this post, it was with the intention of comparing turning 30 with turning 40.  As I mentioned, I had such a hard time with turning 30, I have been dreading turning 40...but you know what?  I think I'm finally okay with it.  I am not the same person nor am I in the same place as I was 10 years ago.  Then, I was reluctantly living back with my parents, not done with any college degrees, enjoying the alcohol a little too much, living the single girl life, etc.  And broke.  Still broke, but hey...maybe it's because since then I got both my associates and bachelors degrees, moved out the 'rents' house for the last time, met and married my husband, finally got a decent job, had a beautiful baby girl, and finally got my ass into shape...best shape ever!

So there...that was what I wanted to say with this post...and I did.  Maybe later, I'll do some picture updates of what's been going on these past few weeks (um...no-brainer there really....more working out, running, etc.).

Gotta keep on running...

Okay...seriously...this is slowly becoming my new 'thing'...running.  Would never have thought that would have happened, but I was searching for something different finally decided to try...and it has started to snow ball from there!  I am now running for about 3.5 miles at a time when on the treadmill.  Finally went for my first outside - with the husband even - run last week at the park...not a great distance...but it was cold and my ears felt like they were going to fall off!  I even participated in my first organized race yesterday...it was only two miles, but I did it!  And in a much quicker time than I thought I would (under 20 minutes)!  And I loved it!  I loved the sense of accomplishment, of achievement  had when I finished!  Even better?   I finished third in my division (now granted, since I will be...gasp!...40 in just a few short weeks, this will likely be the only time in that division)!  My husband finished first in his!

And with this, actually before this, I am considering following in the husband's footsteps and while not full blown triathlon....maybe take a shot at some duathlons.  Maybe.  Very likely, actually.  I'm ready to start signing up for some actual 5ks.  Maybe even a half marathon by next year.  I even went to a 'Good Form Running' clinic tonight.  I tell ya...I am on a roll!

getting a little too old for days like yesterday...

It was St. Patrick's Day, yes...but I wasn't out celebrating that, at least not intentionally...nope, out celebrating the 40th birthday of one of my best friends.  She's the first of us to turn 40.  Now granted her birthday was two weeks ago, but yesterday was as good of time as any.  My turn is next...just one month and one week away now.  And then the last of us will be 40 end of July.  This is us early in the day:

There are, thankfully, at least not that i am aware of, no pictures from towards the end of the day.

Start 'em young...

And just one more post for the night...I will leave you with this:

This was from a few weeks ago (it has been in 'draft' mode), but this is Stella making use of some of Mommy's exercise tools.

To make up for the bad day...a skimble workout review

I am the buttless wonder.  Seriously.  Baby got no back here. So I have at least one day a week that I focus very specifically on that specific area in the gym as well as added squats here and there with other workouts throughout the week.  As I've mentioned previously, I have found the Workout Trainer by Skimble to be quite helpful.  My current favorite is the Brazilian Butt Workout. Love it!  Now granted...I have added some modifications such as:

• Squats with a bar in place of circling donkey kicks (eventually I will add weights to this)
• Stationary front to back lunges in place of split squat hops
• Side squats have become more of a hybrid of the side squats and split squat hops using a BOSU ball
• Hip lifts I add either a 20 lbs. kettle bell or dumbbell
• Lunge kicks I have replaced with dead lifts, currently with 40 lbs.

By the end of that 30 minutes, I'm definitely feeling like I've accomplished something...at minimum I have worked up a small sweat.  I have learned, however, that this is not a workout to be done immediately after a 30 minute jaunt on the treadmill.  I tried that once and had a serious case of shaky legs and it was all I could do to finish.

Today is just a bad today.

The week, actually...at least the second half of the week has been crappy.  A co-worker, love her to death, restocked her candy dish last week.  It's been several weeks since it ran dry and I was hoping it would stay that way because I have zero willpower.  None.  Well...when I noticed it was restocked, I started hitting it.  I hit it hard.  Feeling HUGELY guilty about that.  On top of that, I seem to be going through a bit of withdrawal from my Concerta since I just hadn't had time to get to the pharmacy to get it refilled (well...I had to remember to call the doc's office first, then I had to find the time to pick it up and then find the time to get to the pharmacy).  Yesterday I was dragging ass hugely and today was not much better in addition to feeling like absolute crap since I had been overindulging in mini Snickers, Twix, Skittles, etc.  I didn't even make it to the gym this morning that's how bad I felt.  I got up at 5:30 and rather than doing one of my Jillian Michaels videos (did I mention I recently added Six Pack Abs to my collection?) I took a shower and tried to eek out a little more sleep.  My prescription is now refilled, I hope tomorrow it is back to normal for me because I feel like crap not just with the upset stomach but with the guilt of not making it to the gym.  At all.

If not for bad luck...

I think you know how the rest of this goes...

40th birthday next month (boo).  Vacation has been booked (yay).  Nearly at my goal of 'being able to rock a bikini' (yay).  Purchased said bikini (perhaps it wasn't entirely advisable to buy a bikini where the top promises to add two cup sizes given my normal size) (yay).  So where does the bad luck come in?  We may now be taking a 22 month old child on this cruise.  Please do not misunderstand...I love my child to pieces.  But dammit, Mommy needs a vacation!  Mommy and Daddy need a vacation sans child!  I am already stressed (my child tends to be a bit...high maintenance).  It is what it is though...we will survive...and (I hope) have fun!

Updates on (Fitness) Goals!

Yep...time for an update...I think it's been a while since I've actually had a chance to do any sort of update on the goals I established at the beginning of the year.

Health & Fitness

Running 

So I haven't ran an actual 5k yet...but...I did complete the C25K app!  No short cuts, no breaks...I did what the program told me to and I survived...I did it!  Today was the last day, I ran 30 minutes straight (first time ever)!  I am not the fastest runner...I ran at a pace that was manageable for me while keeping track of my heart rate.  I did it and was so excited about it, I had to post this on facebook:

Improving strength, tone, all that fun stuff...

That is coming along as well.  There are definitely some areas that I'm nowhere near where I want to be...especially strength-wise (push-ups come to mind), but darnit...I'm getting there!  The definition is getting pretty decent...especially my legs.  Overall, I am happy with the progress that has been made.

Better eating...

As I've posted in other entries, we have been experimenting with a paleo diet.  Not 100%, but definitely have made some improvement in that area and I have been pleasantly surprised with a lot of what we have tried (but this does tend to get a bit expensive).  Last night's baking adventure, double chocolate muffins from Piece of Cake Paleo:

The bottom line...

I am seeing results and happy with what i see.  There are definitely some areas that could be improved, but overall...I'm happy.  We are about 6 weeks out from our cruise, my 40th birthday and I think that I will be able to wear a bikini with confidence on my 40th birthday (that was one of my goals).  I ordered two a few days ago, they arrived tonight and while one will not work without huge risk of wardrobe malfunction, I am absolutely in love with the other!

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Well...we all know the rest, right?  Right?!?!?  Believe it or not, no...not everyone does.  At least that's been my experience lately.

I've at times been overwhelmed by some of the things people say to me.  More than a few people have actually said that I am an inspiration to them.  I have motivated them.  They want my help.  They want to know my 'secrets.'  They say I encourage them by the way I keep at it...even at times when I don't feel like it.  Even days when I'd much rather sleep in than get up early and workout in the living room or (if I'm lucky enough that my husband was off the night before) head to the gym before 6 a.m.  That if I can do it with my schedule (I work full time and then some, have a 20 month old toddler, and a husband that works a shift opposite mine) then they should be able to do something as well.  I love to hear all of these comments.  I'm surprised.  Still.  But to know that I have actually inspired people to do good for themselves, something I have never done before...well, that just feels good.  It really does.   And then....

And then...

And then there's my family.  Doing the best they can to negate all of the positive comments I've heard from so many others with their own negativity.  Funny how just a few words from just a few family members, negative words at that, can stick with a person more than all the good from everyone else.  Sad, really.  What do I hear?

"You're too skinny."  "You need to quit."  "When are you going to stop?"  "You cannot lose any more weight."  And so on.  I quit listening, if I am to be honest.  I heard enough with the first few comments and am doing my best to shut out all the rest.  These few comments, though, are enough to make me really want to avoid being around them...not hard to do, actually...but with some events coming up over the next several months, I'm sure that's bound to piss off people.

Let's think about this though:

• "You're too skinny."  Since when is a few pounds over 130 on someone who stands 5'5 too skinny?   
• "When are you going to stop?"  Stop what?  Exercising?  Eating healthy?  Um...this was not about dropping a few pounds and then reverting to an unhealthy lifestyle.
• "You need to quit."  See comments above.  

Really I don't get this at all.  I'm not underweight.  For the first time in years, I'm not overweight.  for the first time in a long time, I'm not feeling shitty because of my crappy diet.  I'm not hating myself because my clothes look like crap on me (although I am not hugely excited about the fact that I've had to replace my entire wardrobe a few times over the last year).  I've gained confidence in myself by getting healthier, getting in much better shape.  I look at my family history of health problems and see how much of it is tied to an unhealthy lifestyle...why would I want to stop or quit...and go back to looking at a future full of health problems tied to weight and unhealthy habits?  What am I missing here?  And now that I think of it...not one person in my extended family has said anything positive...at all...about my transformation.  Nothing.  Not one thing.  That kind of makes me sad.  I did this for me, I did this to set a positive example for my daughter.  And apparently my family would rather me be fat miserable unhealthy unhappy.  Sad.

Me = SLACKER!!

Okay...not really, just with this blog...but still...I'm slacking on it and I didn't want to!  Work is getting in the way (we are so crazy busy it ain't even funny...but that's a good thing, right?  RIGHT?!?!?!?), the little one is constantly, constantly on the go - from the moment she wakes up until she is down for the night it is go go go, and any time left after those two time sucks, well...the whole exercise, cooking, getting fit and healthy thing is filling any remaining gaps.  So yep...that's it in a nutshell what I've been up to.

And now, the latest addition to my growing collection of new fitness toys:

Yep...a BOSU ball.  While other husbands may buy their wives flowers, sweets, perhaps even lacy lingerie for Valentine's Day...mine buys me this.  And honestly?  I much prefer this.  I was actually going to buy it myself, but didn't like the price tag.  So now our living room is on the verge of being totally taken over with exercise equipment:  the BOSU, my exercise mat, my kettle bells, dumbbells I've brought up from the basement, my husband's bike with the trainer (for indoor training....that whole triathlon thing), etc.  I would love LOVE to finish the basement and just turn it into a home gym and I think I've almost got him into that idea...because seriously, the living room just isn't cutting it!

Despite all the equipment we now have at home, I still put in plenty of time at the gym.  Still utilizing the Skimble app (I have a few favorite workouts right now - the Brazilian Butt Workout and Core the Pilates Way.  Both of these I can do at the gym or at home and with the Brazilian Butt thing, I've made a few modifications (essentially adding more squats and weights to some of them).  I also did this arm workout this morning:  Bi Tri.  Okay...that one was a little brutal and pretty sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow!  I've also been testing the waters on another site recently.  What I'm finding really helpful on this particular site is the database of exercises - strength training, cardio, plyo...all kinds of stuff as well as different plans, forums, etc.  I'm just now really starting to use it so I can't really speak fully on it yet, but I came across this the other day and I gave her shoulder/abs workout a whirl yesterday...not bad!

And lastly, yesterday I started week 7 of the C25K.  I am amazed with myself that I have made it this far.  I've stuck with it and am doing it!  I did finally tell my husband last week because I think I've reached the point where I am not going to fail and I'm pretty sure he's happy I'm doing this!

And what else I've been up to...

I haven't given up on my whole fitness journey.  Actually, I'm considering taking it to another level (CrossFit), but haven't made the decision to do that yet, so won't discuss that any further right now.  I have now completed four weeks of a C25K program (couch to 5K) and so far, so good!  I'm planning to start week 5 tomorrow.  What I'm most excited about right now, however, is my latest toy:

Since I got my husband the GPS Garmin 910XT for Christmas, I had been using his old Sportline and, well, I was not a fan.  The damn thing confused me, had too many functions I had no clue what they did and it was big, bulky...and pretty much made for runners (while I am trying a running program, I do not consider myself a runner).  So after doing a little research, etc., I settled on a Polar FT7...it's for crosstraining.  As you can see from the picture, at the end of the workout, this is what I can see.  I've been learning more and more about heart rate training...specifically the different zones, training smart, etc. and this watch is a tool to help with all of that.  I'm an instant fan of the watch.  Set up was very easy.  There are some additional tools that can be purchased to accompany the watch (and at least one free app to compliment).  I'm just disappointed I didn't have it with me at the Y tonight for my kettle bell and spin classes.

So yeah, this is what I've been up to.  And work.  Lots and lots of work.  Nonstop.  Behind.  Huge piles on my desk.  Insane.

I've been doing more cooking!

Now granted, that's not why I've not been keeping up with blogging...I've just been too flippin busy between work, the kiddo, the husband, planning an actual vacation (seriously...it is booked, I've ordered a passport, I have requested the time off work...we will be nowhere near NW Ohio the day I turn 40), stepping up my game at the gym to make sure I can rock a bikini on my birthday on a cruise ship far far away, etc.  And cooking.  I've discovered that I kind of actually like it.  So far, this whole paleo thing, the recipes haven't disappointed.  And have been easy.  Even fun.  Some of the highlights:

Spaghetti Squash & Meatballs

This was seriously simple.  And seriously good.  I cannot recall ever having spaghetti squash previously, so wasn't really sure what to expect.  What went into this?  Well, besides the spaghetti squash...I made the meatballs from ground turkey with various spices, onions, etc. thrown in and a tomato sauce/paste combo with, again, various spices thrown in as well as onions and garlic.  If nothing else, Stella certain enjoyed playing with it!  I was going to throw a picture of that in here as well...but really, I don't want to overkill the toddler making a mess out of spaghetti sauce thing!

Apple Streusel Egg Muffins (I think that's what they were called):

I got up early one morning to make these...figuring I'd get these started, in the oven and I'd do a yoga video while they were baking.  I underestimated the time I'd need to prepare!  By the time I had them in the oven, I needed to get a shower or run the risk of being late for work (actually, the fear these days is getting Stella to daycare late, but that is a story for a different day).  These were good...definitely...I think was expecting something a bit more sweet (given the apples involved) so wasn't sure what to make of them initially when biting into one.  However, once my taste buds readjusted, I realized they were quite good.  And from what I understand, Stella thought so as well...eating one in three bites before dinner that night.

Blueberry Lemon Muffins

Yeah, these definitely didn't disappoint.  And so simple!!  I made these up Saturday morning...and Stella and I definitely had our share Saturday!

I made up other dishes...a few repeats, a few simple items using typical paleo ingredients.  We always have a bag of chicken breasts in the freezer so if we aren't planning something specific or whatever, just defrost a few of those, cook them up in coconut oil and throw whatever spices catch my eye at that point.  Since we've started experimenting with this, seems we always have veggies in the fridge ready to go for a side dish.  For the most part, I haven't had much difficulty finding the necessary ingredients to keep with the paleo diet.  All of the recipes so far have come out of the two cookbooks I posted previously but I have a couple of additional paleo cookbooks downloaded on my kindle and my husband bought one that is specifically for athletes.  Given that most of the dishes have been simple to make and tasty, I haven't had much problem getting him on board with this.  However, we haven't gone 100%.  I love my morning oatmeal at work as well as a bowl of granola with almond milk at night and a few other odds and ends.  I have, however, given up most dairy at this point as well as bread and pasta.  I am also giving seriously consideration to getting into crossfit and seems that a paleo diet seems to be a big part of the crossfit lifestyle.  I'll keep you (whoever 'you' may be) posted from time to time on this paleo thing. 

If you (again, whoever 'you' maybe) are at all interesting in finding out more about paleo, I have a few links posted on my blog (just look to the right...under the heading "What I find interesting...").  I'd also recommend doing some additional research on your own.  The two cookbooks I have purchased would be decent starting points...especially the 'Practical Paleo' book.  It includes a section that has several 30-day meal plan to meet individual (health, medical fitness, etc.) individual needs.

I've been cooking!

Yes...cooking...I put out 3 meals this past week!  Oh...and breakfast this morning! vNow...that may not seem like much to many people...but for me, it is.  I am not a domestic goddess...nor do I resemble one in any way, shape, or form.  I am not a fan of cooking, I don't keep the tidiest house, I don't have a sewing machine on hand to repair or even make my own clothes (or Stella's)...I just don't do any of that.  I am NOT Molly Homemaker.

But back to the cooking thing.  I am attempting to point us (or, at least me) more in the direction of a paleo diet (but I hate the word diet).  What is paleo?  I'm not going into great detail here, I'll let Wiki handle that:  Paleo Diet.  In this house, we've always been big on prepackaged food, fast food, food of convenience.  However, as anyway who has looked at this blog realizes, my husband and I are both on a fitness kick and have been for about a year now.  So I bought myself some paleo cookbooks, downloaded a few more on my kindle as well as an additional app.  The following is a sampling of what I've been doing (as well as the cookbooks):


The dishes have been surprisingly simple (remember...I don't cook) and taste really really good!  I've got a list of meals for the next week already put together so I can head to the store tomorrow!

Ahh...back to the Y tonight...

The new session started last week and I finally made it tonight.  Boot Camp followed by Spin.  And both were great!  While in spin class, just sitting there pedaling away and dripping with sweat, I had the following realization:

We joined the Y approximately one year ago.  We joined primarily so my husband could swim (remember, he's training for tri/ironman races).  Now...I only go to the Y for my classes as I primarily use the gym at work for most of my exercising (and occasionally utilize the living room at home).  In the time we have been members of the Y...I have dropped approximately 40 lbs. (176 to 136).  I have gone from a size 12 (and at least one pair of size 14 jeans) to a 4.  And recently, the 4s have seemed a bit too big.  I've gone from larges and extra larges in tops to mediums.  And some of those are now a little loose fitting.  My bra size (yes, I'm going there...I'm going to share my bra size) has gone from a 38DD to a 32DDD.  But dammit...my shoe size hasn't changed at all!

The Y definitely doesn't get all the credit, not even a good portion of it.  It goes to me.  I'm the one doing it.  I'm the one that quit making excuses.  I'm the one getting it done.  It is no longer a matter of forcing myself to exercise - I stopped doing that quite some time ago - it is now a habit.  And by habit, I mean I am not happy if I can't get at least a small workout in.  Like cranky unhappy.      A kind of crankiness that could rival Stella's legendary crankiness when she's tired.

And here's the thing.  If I can do it...why can't so may others do it.  I work full time (and then some), I have a toddler.  I have a husband (a husband who works a complete opposite shift and has his own fitness goals).  But I do it.  I hear all kinds of excuses from people of why they can't (and many of those excuses I used at one time or other myself).  I hear that from people and yet they tell me what an inspiration I have become.  What exactly am I inspiring because they certainly aren't joining me in the gym...but rather contentedly complain about what they dislike about their body, health, etc.  I understand, I do...been there done that...but geez...if you say I inspire you...prove it!

2013 Goal Progress (and a few reviews)

Okay...so we're not quite into two weeks into this new year, so is an update really necessary?  Probably not, but still.  This is, in part, to keep me accountable.

Running

I now have one week in the books of a C25K program (this is the one I have opted to go with).  I survived.  I followed it without pause and survived.  I haven't yet actually looked for a 5k race to sign up for, although the husband did mention the one tied to the Arnold beginning of March.  He was talking more for himself, because I haven't told him and I don't think he knows that I am making my final attempt at running....but if he does decide to do it, I may surprise him and join in as well.

Along with the running, I finally got myself a decent pair of running shoes:

Nike Air Max 2012.  Love!  (and saved a few bucks by ordering them on eastbay.com rather than buying them at Dick's).  Seriously...I have been in search of a decent pair of shoes for a few months now (well...not totally dedicated to the search, but looking when I had time) and I love these.  No achy, hurting feet as yet (and hopefully this doesn't happen).

And I've bought more workout clothes from Old Navy.  Sale.  Gets me every time.  But loving their compression pants and tees...so I got more (four pairs of pants and four tees/tanks).

Improving Strength/Tone/Definition

I haven't made great strides in this area...but now I have a more immediate need for this:  we are taking a cruise in April for my birthday (been talking about it for more than a month now, but we are now ready to book) and I most definitely want to be bikini ready by then.  I know that diet is a big part of this, so I'm going to be doing a little experimenting.  I'm planning to give a paleo diet a whirl.  I've got a couple of books to get me started (and these books appear to go beyond just recipes...once I've really had a chance to review for myself, I'll comment further here and if I really like it, perhaps I'll share some recipes as well).

I also mentioned previously that I bought a couple of kettlebells to do some stuff at home.  I didn't realize it at the time, but the kettlebells came with their own dvd (apparently I didn't read beyond the weight on the package).  I gave the dvd a spin this past Thursday morning (part of my ongoing effort to do more here, so the husband is freed up for more time for tri training).  It was quite the sweat-inducing workout!  And, of course, made me realize that I am still not in the shape I wish to be in...I had to take an occasional pause.

Speaking of trying to do more at home, I have been referring to skimble more and more for workouts that I can do at home...primarily workouts that focus on abs, butt...that sort of thing.  I found one this morning - a 20 minute 'Brazilian butt' workout...that, once again, caused me to break a sweat.  This is good!

So that's my goal update.  For now.  As i said, the point of this post, really, is to keep me accountable, so perhaps if I update every few weeks, I will maintain that accountability.

the progression of me...

Kinda hard to come up with some comparison pics to do this post...seems that since I've had Stella, pics of me are rather scarce (or rather, pics of me beyond just my face)...so I am just pulling odds and ends from the past 5 years (and one from 10 years ago).  Here goes:

The above photo was from the summer of 2002. My first round of major weight loss was almost a year prior. My priorities then? Partying, enjoying the single life (I ended a very long term relationship - 10.5 years) that previous fall, working on my tan (pre-melanoma days).




Summer of 2007 - I had been dating my husband a year by this point - you know what that means! Yep...getting too comfortable in a relationship, start going to hell. I don't think I realized yet that I was starting to pork out.

  

Late summer 2007 - preseason football...rapid expansion it seems.

Now that (above) is attractive!  I am going to venture a guess here that it was taken summer of 08...sometime before my wedding.  And to think...I possibly thought I looked good!  One of the big problems (in other words...one of the problems attributed to my bigness) can clearly be seen in my left hand.

January 2009 - MP Ball.  At the time, I thought I looked pretty darn good!  In hindsight, not so much (well...except for my hair...loved my hair).

Mother's Day 2009...again...the hair looked good at least!  Sad part...this is a few years before I got pregnant.  No excuse that I looked like this (nevermind the fact that this particular photo was taken right after we got done pigging out at Biaggi's).  The other photo was a Florida vacation June 20009...I made it my mission to drink as much Yuengling as possible during that 6-day trip to Ft. Myers.  I was awesome.

These three pictures were over the summer of 2010...not too much before getting pregnant (the photo in the blue tank was perhaps just a few weeks before).  Around this time, I had gotten a new job, and started Weight Watchers shortly after...and then had to quit the WW due to becoming pregnant.

I am not going to bother with any photos from my pregnancy...and after having Stella...there's not a lot of 'just me'...because, well...she's a cute kid, she became my world, so not much getting out and taking photos.

So fast forward the holidays of the past two years:

2011

2012

The picture from 2011 - quite possibly the largest I had gotten (outside of being pregnant).  While they are not visible in this picture, the jeans I wore that night were a size 14.  14.  Never had I gone outside of a 12.  DEPRESSING!  Still didn't find that motivation I needed...not for several more months.   The picture on the right - from just a month ago - on the verge of the best shape I have ever been in.  The dress I am wearing in that photo - a size 4.  4.  Never in my adult life have I been in that size.  And not just a size 4 from one particular store, but all stores I typically shop!  I suppose if I was posting the above two photos on my instragram account, I could tag them as #transformationtuesday.  I mean...it is Tuesday and I think these two pictures do a pretty good job of showing my transformation from December 2011 to December 2012.

Review: Kindle Fire HD & Otterbox case

Been awhile since I've posted a review of anything...book, clothing, shoes, equipment, food, etc.  Actually, I've been slacking as a whole with the blogging thing...in case you haven't noticed.  So I'm going to do a little catch up...I mean, hey, Christmas and year end bonus has come and gone (and trust me...that bonus is definitely gone) so obviously I am going to have some new purchases to review!

Let's start with:

Kindle Fire HD (7")

My third kindle.  It has become something of a tradition between my husband and myself.  Third Christmas in a row he has bought me a kindle (first one was the 'regular' one, second was the original Fire and now this one).  Love!  I don't have the largest one - size-wise or memory-wise, but it suits my needs just fine.  I really have no need for an iPad.  I am happy the latest version has a camera.  It seems...faster?...than my first Fire.  There are some differences between the two...the new one is thinner...reminds me a lot of my husband's Samsung Galaxy (I suppose that they are actually quite similar).  

What don't I like about it?  Not much...really...I read a lot, and that was the original intent of the kindle is to satisfy that need/want and free up space I was taking up with all of my books.  There are a few things, however, that I am not all that excited about.  One being battery life...yes, it does still last a couple of days.  However, one of that awesome tings about my original Kindle (pre-Fire days) is that the battery would quite literally last a month before needing to be charged (unless it was in the lighted case and the light was on).  The other?  The camera.  yes...the addition to the new Fire that I was really excited about.  It just leaves me wanting more.

So with the new Kindle Fire, I found it necessary to be a complimentary case for it...one that could stand up to my toddler (and me, for that matter).  I found one.  And it is awesome.  It is an OtterBox case.  LOVE it.  Not just love it...I LOVE it.  Yes...it is heavier...much heavier.  Don't care.  As much as I tend to drop things (it is a wonder that i didn't kill the last Kindle Fire...but it survived to be  passed on to my mom), this was necessary.  I didn't need something to keep it nice...I needed something to protect it from being dropped on the floor, handled by a toddler, etc.  Yes...it was pricier than the other covers.  Yes, it was back-ordered when I initially ordered.  But, in my opinion...worth.every.penny.  It is pure awesomeness.  Although...I will admit that it took me some time to initially figure out how to open that damn thing!

My Goals for 2013

I don't do resolutions.  Resolutions just seem bound to fail.  I will do goals instead.  I've already kinda mentioned them before...but I think I have a better picture of my goals now.   Yes, it would seem that health and fitness tops my list...but quite honestly, outside of Stella and Shawn, that is what makes me happy.  It is my stress relief since I no longer smoke and rarely drink these days.  It makes me feel better about myself and, apparently over the course of the last several months, I have become an inspiration to others....so health and fitness has earned it's spot at the top of my list!

Health & Fitness

Running.  I want to finally be able to run.  I'm not going to hold my breath on this one, since I have had unsuccessful tries in the past, but I'm hoping this time I can success!

I want to continue to improve upon my strength and tone and definition.  It's slow going, and I haven't always been the most dedicated...but I'm working on it.

I want to make a better effort eating.  Eliminating the bad.  I am already avoiding that most of the time anyway...but I need to be better about cooking and eating and making better choices for myself and my family.

With my goals...particularly my fitness goals, it is going to be a bit more difficult to dedicate the time I want to be able to in the gym as my husband is ready to take his triathlon training to the next level and...well...I am putting that as a priority over my gym time.  Even so, I have made some purchases that will hopefully enable me to do a little more at home:

I plan to take what I've learned from the kettlebell classes and work with that at home and have found some websites and instruction that should further help.  And the thicker exercise mat to replace the yoga mats I was used to.

I also bought this journal:

Quite honestly, I am not sure how much good it is going to do me, but perhaps a bit better than trying to track my workouts on My Fitness Pal, I guess.  As a bonus, my husband passed down his old heart rate monitor watch since I bought him a Garmin 910xt for Christmas.  Now I just need to figure this out.

I'm waiting on my new shoes - they should arrive Thursday - and of course I will share when I do get them.

Organization

I am quite possibly one of the most disorganized people I know.  That's not a good thing, not something to brag about...but it has a lot of truth to it.  At work, at home...I am just a disorganized mess...and it hurts!  It hurts my job performance, it stresses me out, it can make living with me miserable at times (just as my husband)...it just sucks.  I haven't found any tools yet that are going to help with this...but I am leaning towards lists, lists and more lists.  Work and home.  Create a filing system that works for me - work and home.  Get rid of what I no longer use.  Last weekend, I went through my clothes and bagged up A LOT.  Some will go to a resale shop (clothes I bought within the last year and wore very few times before they go too big), some to Goodwill, and some just to one of those clothing bins.  I have a bag of pants and jeans that I have offered a few people, but if no takers that will also be divided between resale and Goodwill.

Finances

I was able to knock out some of the smaller debts with my year end bonus...but I am aiming to put a large dent in the bigger debts...including and especially the student loan.  I do really want to get one more degree...but I want the debt for what I have already earned gone before pursuing that! I have also started a savings account for Stella, started once again saving for retirement (like that will ever actually happen) and just rebuilding a decent savings account.  The last several years were rough...quitting a job, being laid off from another, wedding, child, etc.  The past year...even with Stella...things have finally started turning around and hoping to stay on this path.